Monday, 31 July 2023

Summer of Discovery Part One: July 2023

Summer of Discovery, part one

Hello! I'm writing on the last day of what I consider to be, in my books, one of the most active beginnings to the summer I've ever had. No holidaying involved, either, no sir - compared to the rest of the globe in its current state, the bitter bluster of Britain is infinitely preferable - just the odd trip to the Curry Mile, outings with friends and a brief excursion to London, amongst other things, have kept me ticking over. 

Some times in solitude have seen me succumb slightly to the inevitable summertime boredom that grows in its gaps. Thus, a pretty simple idea arose from it: out of an old 2016 issue of Q magazine, which outlined the writers' favourite albums released since its incarnation in 1986, I cut out some recommended records and, each day, picked one out at random to listen to and review after. (There were also a few that I threw in there on impulse - you can guess which ones!)

As you can see from the title, this is only 'part 1' of 'Summer of Discovery' and, before you accuse me of milking this spur-of-the-moment, music-obsessive's dream of a concept, I will say that I've genuinely enjoyed the process of indulging my ears in soundscapes I may never have experienced otherwise and offering (what I hope read like) insightful verdicts and interpretations regarding what I've heard.

Below are 10 albums of a variety of styles and times - though restricted by the magazine recommendations' focus on 1986 until 2016 - some of which may tickle your fancy! Have a gander and see (or listen) for yourself.


19/7 - A Bad Wind Blows In My Heart by Bill Ryder-Jones


Bill Ryder-Jones' second album presents to the listener a subtle profundity through acoustic instrumentation evocative of homeliness and his crisp, wistful voice that delivers such heart-rendering lyrics as 'I can't be trusted/To not look at the stars/They pull my world apart.' Some notable tracks include the album's opener, Hanging Song, a condemnation of sentimentality that 'only eats your heart' and You're Getting Like Your Sister, wherein the narrator takes his leave from his ex-partner's life, citing the bond he had compromised between her and her sister as more important than his being around. As with most of the Coral frontman's discography, A Bad Wind... offers much to mull - and quite possibly cry - over.

Favourites: Hanging Song, Wild Swans, A Bad Wind Blows In My Heart


20/7 - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning by Bright Eyes

I first listened to this album during lockdown and, as had been the case with what I've come to consider one of my favourite albums, The Colour Of Spring, Bright Eyes' I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning went over my head completely upon first listen. That has now been rectified: from Connor Oberst's bursts of strained vocals - as heard in the opener At The Bottom Of Everything and closer Road to Joy - complimenting his softer tones across the record and the band's embracing of Midwestern America's musical hallmarks (slide guitar, hamonica, Emmylou Harris) to the stunningly acerbic wordplay of which there are too many examples t to highlight, I, in my return to it, am left enamoured with this album.

Favourites: Lua, Poison Oak, Land Locked Blues


21/7 - Rounds by Four Tet

I went into this record with only a minimal knowledge of Four Tet's work - basically, I'd heard Two Thousand and Twenty - and came to one solid conclusion: this guy sure can create a musical cocktail. What do I mean by that? Just listen to the songs And They All Look Broken Hearted and My Angel Rocks Back And Forth, both of which demonstrate such a stunning balance of industrial soundscapes and luscious acoustics that, upon the first plucks of sampled strings and hits of snares, you'll be quick to catch my drift. A cult classic certain to allure you with its myriad lulling melodies.

Favourites: She Moves She, Spirit Fingers, And They All Look Broken Hearted


22/7 - Music Complete by New Order

New Order really do give greater meaning to their name with each release, don’t they? By Bernard Sumner, the Morrises and co, we’re taken on a fantastic and futuristic exploration of sounds; the pulsating, clubbing kind, to be precise. This journey has a tangible trajectory, as the listener is first plunged into the band’s endlessly grooving world with such bangers as Singularity and Tutti Frutti, which set the tone of Music Complete, before they’re presented with splashes of acoustic guitar amidst the drum machines (Academic, Nothing But A Fool) and 90’s house throwbacks (Superheated). New Order’s 2015 offering does not cling to the past , though, and in this way is very much accessible to veterans of the Madchester scene and newcomers alike.

Favourites: Singularity, People On The High Lane, The Game



23/7 - Have You In My Wilderness by Julia Holter 

'Julia Holter' - a new name to my brain. Which is, without sounding too up my own backside, pretty unusual (for someone who subjects his ears to an ungodly amount of noise every day, at least). In the wake of listening to her third album, Have You In My Wilderness, however, I'm sure she's to become someone with whose music I'll be well-acquainted in the near future. I knew from the get-go that this was an interesting artist - her idiosyncratic delivery on harpsichord-inclusive opener Feel You had me instantly allured - and, while maintaining this avant-pop eccentricity in both instrumentation and singing (As in the dizzying Betsy On The Roof and the jazzy Vasquez), Holter also brings a Weyes Blood-esque ethereality to the album: where jarring vocal gymnastics are swapped for enveloping croons (see Lucette Stranded on the Island, a narrative-driven tour de force, for a perfect demonstration). While some cuts on this record may end up slipping from your mind, the ones that stick leave a long-lasting imprint.

Favourites: Lucette Stranded on the Island, Betsy on the Roof, How Long?


24/7 - Hopes and Fears by Keane 



The decision to listen to this noughties staple was, as opposed to being dictated by mere chance, a personal choice - a close friend and her family have frequently sung its praises to me - so, as of today, I finally got round to hearing Keane's Hopes and Fears. Opening with about as grandiose and gorgeous an album opener as you can get, 'Somewhere Only We Know,' Tom Chaplin and co enthral with their meticulously crafted yet accessible pop; from Bend & Break's desperate hopefulness to Your Eyes Open's forlorn longing. Now, don't crucify me, but I'm going to make a comparison here: Keane and Radiohead. This may seem like it's coming out of left field, but that verdict would apply to a lot of tracks on this album - see the spacious, panned Moog inflections on She Has No Time, Chaplin's incensed belting at the end of We Might As Well Be Strangers and Untitled 1's almost dystopian soundscape, for example. It could just be the two bands' tendencies toward grand compositions, but it's strange to think that such stark distinctions are drawn regardless of the similarities. Enough rambling! A triumph of a record.

Favourites: Bend & Break, Your Eyes Open, Untitled 1


25/7 - The Last Broadcast by Doves



Aboard the 192 bus, I stuck on an album whose creators are natives of the place to which I was bound: Manchester band Doves. Their debut, The Last Broadcast, was released in 2002, at the dawn of the 21st century; though, contrasting with the party atmosphere evoked by the post-Millennium era, the songs that comprise this record speak to a sense of deep melancholy. Intro's swelling synths and intensifying drums establish the spacious and nocturnal atmosphere that remains throughout The Last Broadcast, as heard in the intimate M62 Song and the desperate strings that shudder beneath Friday's Dust's echoing choruses. Don't be fooled by the select few tracks you deem to be lacking in this melancholy, oh no: while There Goes The Fear may present the most upbeat of melodies, profundity within such lines as 'you turn around and life's passed you by' lurks; in the raucous and glitchy and utterly beautiful N.Y. 'they're throwing rocks and paving stones/so let's go while we can'; and in thrumming album closer Caught By The River, the narrator insists that, despite the pain of life, 'you can't just leave it/'cause you're not in control' - speaking to the thoughts that lay heavy in many a person's conscience in life. A reflective journey best set to a night bus ride - for which I would not recommend the 192!

Favourites: Words, N.Y., Caught By The River



26/7 - Catalpa by Jolie Holland



A singer-songwriter from Houston, Texas, Jolie Holland recorded the entirety of her debut album, Catalpa, in a fellow musician's living room. The palpable sense of proximity and intimacy that this naturally brings to the fore is but one of this record's many charming features, however. From the ceaselessly touching imagery conjured up through Holland's stunning lyrics -  'river/won't you roll my blues away' in Roll My Blues and the stark isolation of 'it's through this world I ramble/and it's through this world I roam' in I Wanna Die, to list a few - to the incorporation of fingerpicked guitars, ukuleles, banjos, harmonicas and a theramin (as heard in Ghost Waltz), all of which lend themselves lusciously to Holland's plaintive and endearingly imperfect voice. This is a hidden gem of a record, whose influences straddle country, folk, blues and jazz, and whose subtly beautiful compositions should not be ignored lightly.

Favourites: Alley Flowers, I Wanna Die, Periphery Waltz


27/7 - Knock Knock by Smog


His seventh release under the moniker of ‘Smog,’ Bill Callahan - cited by Bill Ryder-Jones as the main influence behind his second album, which featured earlier on in this list - shares through ‘Knock Knock’ 10 heart-breakingly beautiful compositions. With a chameleonic style that shifts from folk to blues and post-rock in tow, Callahan takes us on what feels like a night-time drive through his personal experiences: casting the headlights upon rejection, exemplified in the most minute yet telling line ‘let’s start a …/let’s have a …’ in Let’s Move To The Country - the prospect of a future with whom the narrator desires to be with apparently so unattainable that he can’t bring himself to even imply its possibility; careering past feelings of isolation in adolescence in Teenage Spaceship, within which metaphor Callahan ‘loomed so large on the horizon/people thought my windows were stars’; and parking temporarily to hear of the musician’s turbulent family history as it is depicted in Cold Blooded Old Times, where Callahan asks his mother, ‘how can I stand and laugh with the man/who redefined your body?’ Brimming with intricacies and idiosyncrasies, ‘Knock Knock’ is as charming a record as Callahan’s laidback and loveable drawl would suggest - and, for me at least, the entrance into the rabbit hole that is this revered singer-songwriter’s discography.

Favourites: River Guard, Teenage Spaceship, I Could Drive Forever


28/7 - Full Moon Fever by Tom Petty


In selecting Tom Petty’s solo debut, Full Moon Fever, at random to listen to, I felt a sense of excitement and anticipation for what I was to hear; having known of the singer’s importance in the history of rock while having a minimal knowledge of his music. Whatever it was I had expected from this record, it was met with a slight sense of disappointment. Don’t get me wrong, there were some cuts that I enjoyed: the down-tempo A Face In The Crowd’s touching sentiment (‘before all of this ever went down/you were just a face in the crowd’), Yer So Bad’s lusciously layered guitar tracks and Alright For Now, whose lovely, fingerpicked introduction caught me off guard. Generally, though, the shimmering soft-rock that permeated Full Moon Fever just didn’t do it for me. In the instance that you're a fan of those types of tunes, however? I couldn’t recommend this album enough.


Favourites: A Face In The Crowd, Yer So Bad, Alright For Now



29/7 - Lion and the Cobra by Sinead O'Connor



I spent this morning’s 192 journey into town indulging in a triumphant debut record by Sinead O’Connor - whose death was announced earlier this week, the loss of such an icon shaking the UK and her native Ireland - entitled Lion and the Cobra. And, the Catholic Church be damned, there is so much to love! Firstly, this woman exercised such (seemingly) effortless control over her vocal cords; the tracks Jackie, Never Get Old and I Want Your (Hands On Me) showcasing O’Connor at her grittiest, wildest and most sensual respectively. What’s more, the messages conveyed through those vocals are equally as stunning. In ‘Just As U Said It Would B,’ for example, O’Connor can see ‘too many mouths open/too many eyes closed, ears closed,’ reflecting the masses’ apathy towards poverty and famine back to them; and how could I skim past Sinead’s seminal and Irish society-deconstructing snarl of ‘I don’t know no shame/I feel no pain’ in Mandinka? With orchestral sections, feet-stomping drums and the plucking of folky melodies swirling around her on this first full-length outing, Sinead O’Connor didn’t just pique but commanded the attention of a nation and beyond.


Favourites: Jackie, Never Get Old, Troy

Sunday, 30 July 2023

29/7: A Day of Musical Madness in Manchester

Saturday 26th July: A Day of Musical Madness in Manchester

When I looked out of the window on the top deck of the 192, my eyes unwilling to meet the reality of the rain just beginning to hit the glass before me, I feared the worst: a jam-packed, annual event celebrating Manchester, planned extensively by fellow Mancunians, only to be dreadfully drowned out by the very thing residents of this city are all too familiar with...bad weather.

A fitting natural accompaniment to 'Manchester Day On Holiday,' you might suggest. Thankfully (for the less cynical of us), such a comedic mental image did not come to fruition.

Instead of the day seeing us consume soggy sandwiches before a troupe of sodden circus performers, myself and a friend were treated to myriad displays of talented musicians, stalls selling all sorts of wares and - the cherry on top - a beaming blue sky. And that was all precluding our visit to the Stoller Hall, where we witnessed a Sheffield Youth Orchestra rendition of Mahler's 5th Symphony. 

Here's but a taste of what Manchester had to offer on this lovely summer's day.

Talent, where? St Anne's Square!

Enlivening the area from noon until late in the evening, 'Party in the Park' showcased a variety of musical acts; ranging from a brass band ('Explosive Ents') and Piano in the Park (courtesy of Forsyth's Pianist programme) to a poetry-cum-carnival bonanza (Manchester School of Samba)...all of which, unfortunately, we didn't manage to catch.

What acts we did get to experience were certainly worth writing home about, though - so here I am!

First to share their craft beneath the makeshift (and beautiful) bandstand were Flat Pack Opera, singers of charity organisation Flat Pack Music, whose mission is to 'bring opera,' and classical music more generally, 'to the masses'. 


That they did, and they did so triumphantly! Each performer exuded enthusiasm, enjoyment and, pivotally, adoration for the pieces and arias they relayed to the rapidly expanding audience; utterly transfixed by their soaring voices.

Although all of the songs performed by the singers and their highly proficient accompanying pianist were, as tradition dictates, in Latinate languages, one felt that the passion and prowess evidenced by the musicians on stage was alone enough to immerse all who were there to listen, regardless of the words being sung.

A standout moment for me was one soprano's rendition of the Habanera, the most well-known aria from Bizet's 19th century opera Carmen. With a tone bearing both sensuality and forcefulness, the singer was enthralling throughout - making good on the charity's stated rasion d'etre.



Nipping out for a tipple from the trusty Golden Arches, we returned and were subsequently met with the sound of the pounding of drums. The interval between the first and second bandstand acts was, we discovered, filled by a vibrant collective of circus performers. 

We were quick to join the crowd of onlookers, watching agog as a brass band bellowed, dancers entertained with endlessly fluid movements and puppeteers controlled charming characters, including immaculately designed bees - what would a 'Manchester Day' be without them?



Next up on the St Anne's roster were Cupid's Bow, a duo of cellists whose pieces jumped from pop to jazz to tango and back again. Kitted out accordingly in black and yellow, the women appeared quite frankly buzzed to be playing that Saturday afternoon; bouncing off each other's buoyancy, they rattled through Queen and Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Eilish and a dash of ELO to see us off with an infectious degree of joy.


The wonder of their performance was enhanced by the technical skill of the two cellists: playing arco, pizzicato, slowly and at considerable pace (as is required for The Flea Waltz) and always with fervour, recovering easily from the odd mistake here and there as a result.

I'm sure that many a crowd member appreciated the amount of tastes to which they catered through the chameleonic nature of their setlist, all of whom will have enjoyed at least one of the twosome's string covers.

Ultimately, what was the zenith of the afternoon, sunshine-wise, was made that bit sunnier by this bright and breezy show by Cupid's Bow. No doubt they'll be bringing their string-based brilliance further afield to more anticipatory audiences. (Perhaps not donning Manchester-inspired drapes all the while!)

Just like being at the seaside...really!

There were some other events taking place that we caught fleeting glances of - see sandcastle building on Deansgate, children's activities in St Peter's Square and the swathes of colourful stalls lining Market Street - though I don't think 'just passing through' constitutes a detailed analysis of what was there, nor would it really be possible, so I'll simply say this: if you weren't there, you most certainly missed out!

I''ll attach some extra shots I got of Manchester Day, but I'm sure what you've seen and read already has cemented your attendance at next year's extravaganza. I hope to see you there!







A stellar, Stoller spectacle

Having chowed down on some Indian cuisine in the Northern Quarter, me and my mate (for whom I will take this moment to thank, again, for accompanying me on this outing and offering me the concert ticket - my blog thanks you especially for that) meandered over to Stoller Hall, a music venue adjacent to Victoria Station. 

Constructed in 2017, the Chetham School of Music building boasts a modern exterior and a breath-taking interior design, particularly in the concert hall itself: where walls extend high above the ground, allowing for immaculate acoustics and reverberations, and vibrant lighting surrounds the stage and beyond. 

The perfect performance site for an orchestra whose membership is neither too little nor too large, it could be said, with which statement I would have to agree, having seen Sheffield Youth Orchestra inhabit the space for just over an hour. 



Playing Mahler's Symphony No.5 to an audience that was, I presume, mostly comprised of family members, Sheffield Youth Orchestra gave their all at the piece's every twist and turn. I relished how well the different sections navigated its frequently turbulent dynamics, tempo and tone, some players retaining a look of eagerness, appearing almost totally immersed in the sounds they created, throughout. This group of incredibly talented musicians clearly devoted much time and energy into their respective parts; whatever amount of practise put in, it paid off tremendously, as the end product sounded truly astonishing within Stoller Hall's four walls. 

The orchestra's conductor was as magnetic as the players themselves, carrying about him an air of oneness with the melodies he facilitated and controlled. It was a delight to listen as the strings, the percussion, the brass and the woodwind sections coalesced, fading in and out at the piece's every whim and enjoying the spotlight in certain instances - the harpist, trumpeters, cellists and clarinet players being standout examples of musicians commanding the attention of every audience member.

With Sheffield Youth Orchestra being just that - a youth orchestra - it wasn't surprising that not every player was note-perfect, 100% of the time, but, that considered, the young people behind the instruments put on a wonderful, impressive and highly entertaining show.


So, that was our day in the city - one whirlwind of a day, at that! I hope you enjoyed the rundown of our experiences and feel perhaps drawn to indulging in the many musical offerings made by Manchester to those who seek them out. (I just have to hope that my college hands out more free gig tickets...!)

Wednesday, 26 July 2023

We're All Needed Here: the profound hopefulness of Lauren Auder's The Infinite Spine

 We're All Needed Here: the profound hopefulness of Lauren Auder's The Infinite Spine

More than two years on from her last EP, 5 Songs For The Dysphoric, and having already released two more, Lauren Auder has produced a masterwork in the form of her debut album. Where Who Carry's You from 2018, 2020's Two Caves In and that of 2021 had sown the seeds of an experimental and forward-thinking artist, The Infinite Spine evidences and embodies Auder's musical trajectory from the past, the present day and into the future; where stunning gems gleamed in her previous works, this venture shines flawlessly.

I had first heard her music - specifically that third EP, though the rest of her discography reached my ears soon after - while isolated amidst the UK's third lockdown. 5 Songs... came to my attention during a particularly pivotal and introspective time of my life, in which thoughts surrounding gender identity and incongruity dominated my mind. Tracks like Animal, Quiet and the Celeste-featuring Unseen didn't just speak to me, but seeped into my very bones.

For accompanying me throughout this period, as well as for simply being so beautifully and intricately crafted, I hold Lauren Auder's compositions in (righteously) high regard. Biased towards her music as I may be, rest assured that the opinions I have formulated in listening to this record have been purely in response to the many new sounds and lyrics I've absorbed and mulled over.

That said...I am completely and utterly enraptured by The Infinite Spine.



Nascent, dissonant flutes usher in Auder's subdued croon of 'I was born an open wound/that only suicide could sew up' in album opener '33 & golden'. A tension rising gradually as heavy bass intermingles with orchestral trills. Croons swiftly turning to guttural cries of 'I'm done with this body, I'm done with this skin' when the chorus takes to the fore. In the first of 12 songs, the listener is captured by a wave of emotion that has been carefully condensed into word and verse. Thus, they are introduced to a sensation this album provokes so frequently. 

They're also exposed to one of several themes weaved into the record's fabric: the feeling of discomfort both in and that expressed by others towards oneself; a feeling those in the queer community are all too well acquainted with. This is implicit within references simultaneously applicable to the musician's physical troubles - she temporarily lost the use of her legs after two disks slipped from her spine in recent history - and so, one imagines that escapism into soundscapes and away from what was, at some points literally, a painful reality has been an essential respite for the artist.

Strife is another palpable element featuring in The Infinite Spine, as in the pounding '118-madonna,' wherein Auder 'had to grow an extra ear just to survive' - the stark and surreal imagery illustrative of the extent of her struggle - and subsequent track 'city in a bottle,' a piano-driven and synth-pop tune that poses the question as to whether transphobia, a 'cancer,' is 'born from man'. Floor-shaking banger 'the ripple,' in spite of its euphoric punchiness, tackles an equally troubling subject matter: 'give up on your personhood/hope it sends a ripple/give more than you ever should' pointing towards the lengths to which people are driven in order to quell their pain.

This collection of songs is nothing if not an album of contrasts, meaning that, as life is so wont to create strife, Lauren also reflects the hope that it can occasionally conjure up in the wake of such suffering. 'hawthorne81' depicts, through rising, industrial crunchiness and violently panned vocals, the musician's defiance against her and others' tormentors; declaring 'I won't sit by while they hoard us/won't let them do as they please'. 

So does this back-and-forth between the two inextricable aspects of life continue as The Infinite Spine winds on, where the enthralling instrumental of 'equus,' underpinned by a dreamlike piano melody belies the darkness of lyrics like 'tear me limb from limb' and, in 'datta920,' Auder resides 'by the abyss' until the person to whom she directs this song 'can be alone' - a sentiment brimming with care, affection and a yearning for their improvement. 

It is upon nearing the album's conclusion that the listener is faced with its most profound moments. Enlivening the eardrums in an instant, the anthemic 'we2assume2many2roles' looks out to the horizon: Lauren's velvet voice conveying catharsis in the line, 'if today I was haunted/tomorrow I'll be free'. 'being here (all my 48s)' is similarly grand - both compositionally and lyrically - and speaks of 'all you must slay...just to be here' in a raw reflection of life at its realest. 

Closing track 'all needed here' serves as a heart-rendering and hopeful ending, fitting for such an all-encompassing body of work. With acoustic guitars, glockenspiels and harps cushioning her words, Auder embraces her listeners with a single utterance - 'we're all needed here' - and reassures them, perhaps alongside herself, with the wisdom that 'time heals me and therefore will heal others'. Be it a physical injury, or strained mental health, things will get better.



Isn't it funny, how quickly you can grow attached to something? It's been less than 48 hours since I acquainted myself with this record and, already, I'm wishing to go back to that first listen - to take in with astonishment The Infinite Spine's sheer depth, its creator's stunning lyricism (see every line in 'atoms') and vocal delivery that, evident in '730kingfisher,' fluctuates with ease from plaintive and quiet to desperately resonant.

Of course, these elements haven't just disappeared since that first listen - god knows this summer will be sick of hearing them by its end - but there was something overwhelming about experiencing, in the space of 40 minutes, how far Lauren Auder has come as a musician. As a person, too: it takes a lot for someone to feel able to utilise their experiences, not just in a creative manner, but in a way that seeks to help others with whatever they might be going through.

If you're reading up to this point and, for whatever ungodly reason, haven't yet heard The Infinite Spine, I implore you: listen to it. (And no excuses - I've linked it below this article.) You'll doubtlessly find other interpretations and reach different conclusions with this sprawling journey of a record, and so it should be: in my opinion, that's the joy of indulging in so subjective an art form as music.


Thursday, 20 July 2023

Poems from Down Underground


From the afternoon of the 16th to the 17th of July's final hours, me, my mum and my dad, staying a stone's throw away from Soho, had free reign to roam the streets of London. Well, freedom in a relative sense for some: my parents were to attend an event on the Monday, leaving me to throw myself back into the city's lauded 'lines and lines' - the League of Gents' quote regurgitated every time we mentioned the Underground - which I'd experienced for the first time on the Sunday.

Throughout our fleeting trip to the capital, I managed to find ways to keep the resident petulant child of my mind - that is, the 'creative' side - occupied, by way of staining the A5 sheets of paper I'd brought along with coffee leftover from the outbound train journey and, later, with tea provided by our accommodation.

Wrote some poems on them, too. I would've attached some photographs of my boredom/insanity provoked experiments below but, as you'd most likely find my handwriting indecipherable, I'll type what my hand scrawled out instead.

Hope you enjoy!


Written 16/7/23:

The whitest sneakers

Along the aisle

He's reading something,

His eyes suggest, worthwhile

And the lightest of smiles

Overrides furrowed brow -

In literature he's lost

So relinquishes watch

Re-entering the now.



The day has just begun

And I'm waiting for the day to end

I'm waiting for the train to halt

The lines to fault;

Fates of all aboard to then depend

On expertise

The guardian angels kitted out in jumpsuits

Trained to defend.


The day has just begun 

And I wait in vain for my brain to mend.



Train rider clandestine

Shields himself from eyes that pry

Mans the fort through bars of light

With stare as solid though the night

But the barricades he'll use to shade

Bear the very secrets meant to hide

And down the aisles, they'll see the truth:

And all while he'll have thought he's lied.


Written 17/7/23

I was up at 2AM

Haven't slept a wink since then


How am I to face today

When my mind is confined to the night?


Gaping curtains bring me light:

Salt in the wound of my sleepless plight


How am I

To go outside

Into this day-bright night?



Why did he sleep on the Nero sofa?

Displayed in all of his dishevelled glory

But unconscious; blind to the prying passers-by

That peer into, and through, his soul -


Oh, ghoulish care of humankind,

Shall he not rest in peace?



I glance at the map of the Underground:

A sprawling spaghetti network

Consisting of veins; blue hues and

Green shades

And those dominant red streaks to which

My eyes gravitate.


For the first time,

I put myself on the line -

The 'Northern' one, to be precise -

And though my bones the carriage shakes

And while I fly when carriage brakes

And even despite how I walk on the right

I exit left

And I find I'm still alive.



So this is how it ends?

Sat in Euston, almost alone

Save for the bucket-hatted man

Blasting Greatest Hits on the bench

Adjacent to mine.

The heat has liquidised my skin

And mind has vapourised what strength

Had yet remained within,

So here I stain;

Inextricable from the amorphous mass of

'The Mentally Ill'

I am the filth that infiltrates

Your precious fantasy

The issue ingrained, the words engraved

Into the cobbled tombs on which you

Walk.



He said the willows weep for me -

Alas, I see no tears:

Only drooping leaves malformed

By the wind

Enshrined in the sun's afternoon glow,

Dry.

I retort, 'oh, were I not blind,

Then I could with them cry.'



London Euston

Forty five minutes drag us into purest madness

Huffing, shouting, puffing, buzzing

Desperation for homely respite

Taking its ghastly hold over us.



Bug-eyed girl

Bound for the new town

Disappeared amongst the crowd

But, following the suitcase scuttling sound,

I caught her leaving frame

And lost myself, not in those eyes

But in the lack thereof.



My mum's head is circular,

Cyclical, swaying in

Sleep obstructed by

The train's incessant

Thumps and bumps

And 'chug-a-chug-chug's

I'm grateful for this

Particular vehicle's

Graciousness

In keeping her head screwed on


Some photography favourites:


National Portrait Gallery gallivanters.

The Tube: bloody loud but bloody well fast!

Lanterns above a family digging into some phenomenal Chinese cuisine

That which soon followed

The view from below